you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize