were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
