You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize