Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
