i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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