so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
