Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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