: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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