i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
