I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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