so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
