she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
