I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
