I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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