I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
