I am in a vortex of obligation.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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