We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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