just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
