After last night, I could never be a politician.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
