yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
