White coat. Heels.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
