youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
