i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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