Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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