We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize