Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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