The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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