while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
