We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
