What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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