Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Can I color on your dick again?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
