I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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