Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
