I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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