You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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