Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
