Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
