I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
3pm strippers are depressing
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I didn't notice because vodka
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
