I feel like abortions should bother me more
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
