I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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