I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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