You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
