It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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