i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
