I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
