I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
