You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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