Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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