how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
