He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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