I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
