Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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