I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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