Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
