Already got asked if we're dating
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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