I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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