the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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