talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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