in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
did you just send me my own nude
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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