we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
