Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
