imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
