ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
