i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
