epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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