Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
